I recently came across a quote by Tony Robbins that hit home for me. I liked it so much that I decided to use it as the launch pad for today’s post and I know it will inspire you too. In this blog I dive into how we can embrace struggle and see it not as an unwanted guest, but as a teacher and guide who’s simply visiting us for a little while.
“The purpose of pain is to move us into action. It is not to make us suffer.”
Like many of you, I did not grow up being given the tools to see the world and myself in a positive light, to be empowered or to feel good about myself. Instead, I learned more of the wrong way than the right way to deal with things. I’ve had to put my healing as top priority and to reparent myself a LOT over the years.
The quote above exemplifies a principle that I have been putting into practice for a while now. When things go wrong, I ask myself, “What do I need to learn here? There is a reason this is coming up. What is it trying to teach me?”
When I approach challenges from this perspective, it takes me out of the “I suck-poor me” victim mentality and puts me in the driver’s seat of my destiny. It empowers me by reminding me that I do, in fact, have a choice in how I respond. In addition, it is also an enormous prompt for me to trust and have faith in the Universe. While my upbringing taught me to default to shame, hopelessness and victimhood, I no longer allow this to hang around, and instead understand that these challenges are here to help me to grow, not to screw me over.
Sometimes when we come from difficult childhoods or perpetual trauma as an adult, we lose the ability to cultivate our own faith and hope. This was certainly the case for me for many years until I finally saw that I needed to change this. We may find that we look to others to remind us that we have an always present lifeline available to us. Or we may become easily depressed when life throws us a curveball and quickly fall into negative thinking. We may close ourselves off and live life on the defensive, always ready for the next attack. This is what unhealed trauma can do if we don’t heal it.
We have so much more choice at our fingertips than we realize. I have found in my own life that when I consciously choose to respond in a way other than my programming, my whole world changes. I did that recently. I caught myself in the middle of a tantrum in my head and even acting out in small ways.
Fortunately the observer within stopped me mid-tantrum and said, “Look at how you’re acting! What are you doing? Come on! You’re better than that!”
It was in that moment that I chose to act against my programming and turned my attitude around. It made all the difference in the world. That is how growth and healing happens. When we choose a different course even when the impulse to act in those oh-so familiar ways is pulling is back to what’s familiar, even if it causes us pain all the while.
As Wayne Dyer once said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” And he was so right.
How does this relate to you and your experiences? What’s coming up in your life where you can take a different perspective on things? Where can you let go of an old, outdated story about who you are that no longer serves you? We have tons of stories and monologues running through our minds all day, everyday. Make sure it’s one that serves who you truly are and brings out the best in you.
Big hug,
Renee